I had to buy new clothes today. Why? Because my hubby's company holiday party is tomorrow. I am wearing a size 18. It's nasty. I bulge everywhere a woman shouldnt' be bulging. I used to be beautiful. I used to be sexy. Now I eat, eat, eat. I haven't stopped eating like I was pregnant since I gave birth to my two beautfiul girls. I look at women with babies younger than my youngest that look WAYYYYY better than me and I want to kill myself. I can't believe I let myself end up this way. Weight issues run in my family and I used to be so active and work out all the time and eat healthy. Now I eat what is convenient, I cook what is easy and not exactly healthy. I gave up my gym membership years ago and even though I buy work out videos, they just sit on my shelf mocking me.
So, I took pics of myself in this hideous outfit I had to buy b/c it fit. I also bought all kinds of undergarments to try and hide the bulges. I feel like when everthing is on my chin multiplies b/c that's the only place for the fat to run to. I'm dreading tomorrow. D-R-E-A-D-I-N-G. I just know people are going to think I'm pregnant again and I'm not, that's the worst part. Why the hell does plus size stuff have to be empire and look like it's maternity????? All this said, I don't see myself losing weight anytime soon. Nice, huh? I hate myself but I'm too lazy to actually do something about it. Yup. Sucks to be fat. Sucks to be stuck in a rut.
Hey, at least my girls are going to look divine in their matching dresses.
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1 comment:
I could have written your post.
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